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- Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.
- A drunk man never tells a lie.
- Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- I only drink on two occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
- Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys.
- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
- A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts. – Steve Fergosi
- A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her. – W.C. Fields
- My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
- Water is so good when it’s mixed with grains and yeast, fermented and then distilled and aged.
- Sure, I’ll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
- I need a vacation. or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liquor store
- I don’t run from my problems, I chase them. with alcohol
- A drunk man walks into a bar…but enough about me…
- If you’re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at am, don’t be open.
- The drunker I get, the more dance moves I know.
- Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.
- My favorite holiday spirit is poured over ice.
- I put the whiskey in another room. Exercise regimen established.
- I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night… Next question
- Being clean and sober means I’ve showered and am heading to the liquor store.
- At my age, I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they’re empty.
- First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
- You really understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing…
- Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever. Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
- If you put Root Beer in a square glass do you get Beer?
- Check out our new Multiple Choice Trivia Site
- Has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
- When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place. – Jimmy Breslin
- Maybe talking when I’m pissed ass drunk isn’t entirely bright. – Chris McGowan
- I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? -Steven Wright
- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. – Benjamin Franklin
- Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.
- I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. – Oscar Levant
- Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. – Frank Sinatra
- I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become. – Tom Ralphs
- Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. – Catherine Zandonella
- I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
- Life has many choices: whisky… vodka… rum.. gin.. wine… beer…
- I drink only on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
- Alcohol is the anesthesia. It helps us to endure the operation of life.
- Here is a toast to alcohol! To the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.
- Alcohol ain’t the answer but it helps you to forget the question !
- I stopped drinking for a while, then I woke up
- Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
- When life gives you lemons; ask for tequila and salt.
- I don’t drink anymore. I don’t drink any less either.
- Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
- I am not drunk, just chemically imbalanced.
- Wine enters, secrets come out.
- I never drink unless I’m alone or with somebody.
- Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.
- I don’t have a drinking problem… I’m actually quite good at it.
- Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
- I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
- I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
- I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
- You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
- I drink to forget I drink.
- My boss didn’t know i drank, till one day i came to work sober.
- Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems. – The Simpsons
- I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not submitted by
- Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker… Submitted by: Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink Submitted by
I realized I was drinking too much,
- So I decided to cut down,
I now only drink on days ending in Y
- “Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
– Bob Marley
- Never laugh at your wife’s choices… you’re one of them.
- My “last seen at” was just to check with your “last seen at”.
- No Phone Calls, Telepathy Only.
- You are UNIQUE.,just like everybody else.
- When I drink alcohol, Everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta. No one says I’m fantastic
- Feeling lazier than the guy who once draws Japanese Flag.
- promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.
- The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
- really needs to have a lot more of those nights they can barely remember, with people they will never forget … and soon DAMN IT!!
Parallel lines have so much in common that they never meet.
“I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time.”
“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources” .
“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”
Gog forgive me for my little jokes on you.
And I’ll forgive You, great big one on me.
“Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”
- life is a waste of time.Time is a waste of life.Get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!!!
- The problem of alcohol isn’t the drinking… It’s the waking up the day after.
- People ask me how I get through my day so Care Free, dealing with so many Assholes?? I tell em I’m G.H.E.T.T.O – Get High Everyday To Tolerate Others! ;0)
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