Funny Dirty Status and Short Dirty quotes
Don’t you wish people could be like money, so you could hold them up to the sun and see which ones are fake and who are real.
Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It does not enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.
I don’t play in light.
A world without women would be a pain in the ass”
Boobs are like the Sun…you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds. But if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want!
Of course I’m out of my mind…and I’m never going back.Leave me alone.
Q: 2 fleas on a pussy; 1 is a thief and 1 is a junkie, can you guess which is which??? The thief is hiding in the bush and the junkie is sniffing the crack.
So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.
A ghost could be humping you now and you would never know it. Just imagine…-
I’m ready…Lets go.-
Whats 9 inches, lives in a guys pants, and girls like to blow it.. $20, what were u thinking?-
The truth is that existence wants your life to become a festival because when you are unhappy, you also throw unhappiness all around.-
If sex were shoes, I’d wear you out. But I wouldn’t wear you out in public.
There’s no such thing as a dirty mind, it’s just a sense of humor with adult content.-
I just love getting dirty.-
Your face look better between my legs”-
I know what I’m going to do on December 22, 2018. I’m going to run outside in my underwear and scream ‘I’M ALIVE! TAKE THAT MAYANS!’-
Roses are red the grass is green”-
Bitch swear they Baby Smarter than every other Baby… “My Baby can count to 10” Bitch he’s 18 years old, he supposed to!
People say I have a dirty mind… But I say its just creative!-
Come on… Lets do together.-
I am searching for right one.-
Needs to wash his mind out with soap.-
I got married because I’m really into angry sex!-
Just because a guy is attracted to you physically or enjoys you sexually it doesn’t mean that he wants to commit to you emotionally.
I hope the saying “If you dream about someone.. they’re thinking about you” is real because I dream about you a lot!-
When i was born..Devil said..”Oh Shit..!! Competition”.
)I would like to thank Dad for not pulling out & Mum for not swallowing me, or my birthday today would not have been possible-
My mother never understood the irony in calling me a “son-of-a-bitch.-
Riddle: what gets long when u jerk it, fits between boobs, slides in a hole, and loves to be pulled? A SEAT BELT U PERVERT!!!-
In a cramped bus… Lady: Something of yours is-
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.-
save water.. shower with someone!-
My idea of “friends with benefits” is another one of my friends doing my laundry. What were you people thinking.. I have morals.-
If they play dirty, then you play dirty.-
“Breakfast its the most important meal of the day”
Bitch, your leggings aren’t supposed to be Saggin !
a blond goes to dry cleaning and drops of a shirt as she walks out the door the cashier says come again the blond says nope this time its toothpaste.-